My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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