Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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