Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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