when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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