felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
