I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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