I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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