So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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