Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
