So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
