I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
