Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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