I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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