So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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