East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize