I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
