Whatcha textin bout Willis?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
