The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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