I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
