State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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