Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
barbara walters just said penis...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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