It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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