Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
