you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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