I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
