The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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