I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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