thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
