i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
