Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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