pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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