I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
