you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
