Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
