I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize