I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
