My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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