He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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