in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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