i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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