I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
