It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
