lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
