love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize