found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
