I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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