My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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