You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize