How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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