i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
