Me too!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize