Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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