When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
