maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
