Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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