Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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